You Can Let Go Now, Murdoc
by DancingToMyOwnRhythms
Summary: Murdoc overdoses on 2-D's pills, but why? Noodle's POV. Rated T for making kittens cry. I own nothing, and this story takes place during Phase 2.


I sat at his bedside, gently stroking his greasy black hair and choking back tears. He didn't look well.

"Murdoc…Murdoc, I'm sorry." He closed his eyes and sighed.

**THE NIGHT BEFORE**

I was in the kitchen, trying to find something to make the boys to eat for dinner, since chances were good that if I didn't make something, the boys just wouldn't eat. Especially scattered 2-D. I loved him, he was my big brother, but half the time it was as if he didn't know where he was. I was rifling through half-eaten packages of stale chips when I heard 2-D's voice.

"Murdoc!" He cried. He didn't sound very happy. "Noodle! Russel! Get in here _now!_"

I ran through the studio to find Murdoc lying on the ground, 2-D bent over him, his ear placed to Murdoc's chest.

"What happened?!" I gasped, burying myself in Russel's arms. I didn't want to look at Murdoc.

2-D lifted his head. "'e wos complainin' of an awful headache, so I gave 'im some of my pain pills. I fink 'e overdosed and 'ad a 'eart attack!"

"Is he going to be okay?!" I could barely breathe.

"I…I don' know, luv…"

"He has to be! He can't just _die!_ You can't just let him die 2-d! You can't!"

"Now, listen, babygirl.." Russel started.

"No!" I interrupted. "_You_ listen! Murdoc can't just _die_. He _can't_. He's your best friend 2-D! He may be conceited, arrogant, and mean to you sometimes, but you still love him. And so do you Russ! He's your friend! He's my friend! He's…he's like my father. He's family, guys. He can't die." I felt my throat swell up and my eyes start to burn.

"Luv…"

"Babygirl…"

I closed my eyes and ran out of the room. I didn't want to see anymore. I slammed the door of my bedroom shut and flopped down on my bed. I couldn't handle it. The sight of Murdoc, lying on the ground, limp and useless, was more than I could take.

Murdoc was like the father I never really had. He didn't always act loving and kind, he was a rough, drunk man, but he was still there behind me, every step of the way. Every stupid, ridiculous mistake I made, he was there. Every struggle I overcame, he was there. I grew up with him being something stable in my ever-changing life.

And I wasn't ready to lose him.

I heard a knock at the door. "Luv, it's me. 2-D. Please let me in."

I threw a pillow at the door. "I don't want to talk."

"Please?"

"No. Go away."

The door opened and 2-D walked in. I ran at him, kicking and screaming and clawing at his skin. "Get out! Get out!" 2-D calmly grabbed me by the waist and picked me up and carried me to my bed, where he sat us both down.

I looked down at my knees as 2-D placed his skinny arm around my shoulder.

"I know it's hard for you, luv. But you jus' 'ave to understand that everyfing will be okay in the end."

I looked up at him. "No it won't! What are you talking about?! Murdoc could _die_. And you're trying to tell me that everything is going to be okay? What are we going to do?! What will happen to Gorillaz? What will happen to _us_?"

"Now, Noodle. Everyfing is going to be okay, you jus' 'ave to trust-"

"2-D…I don't want to lose him." I looked him directly in his big black 8-balls as my own eyes welled up with tears. He wrapped his arms around me and locked me in a tight hug.

"I don' either, Noodle-luv. I don' either."

**THE NEXT MORNING**

Russel had carried Murdoc to his Winnebago the previous night and left him in bed. Things weren't looking too good. The other two Gorillaz and I had spent the entire night in the Winnebago, but we all knew, we could tell from the look on his sallow face, that he was fading fast. None of us wanted to leave his side. By that evening, Murdoc was barely holding on by a string.

Russel had decided he couldn't handle watching Murdoc die. 2-D and I allowed him to sit close to Murdoc for a few minutes, and whisper words of goodbye that were too faint for anyone but Murdoc to hear. Russel finally stood up, and walked to the door, where he stopped, gave one last look of longing to Murdoc and softly said "I'm sorry for breaking your nose."

With that, he opened the door, and solemnly left.

2-D and I sat together in silence, fighting tears and watching Murdoc's life slip away.

2-D finally turned to me and said, "You know, 'e wonted to die. 'e wonted fis."

I was confused. Murdoc wanted to die? "What do you mean?"

2-D pushed some of my purple hair out of my eyes. "'e may 'ave been a bit o' an arse, but all 'e really ever wos, wos a broken child 'ho never learned 'ow to grow up. Tell you the truf, I fink 'e overdosed on purpose. And right now? I really fink 'e's ready to go now. I really, truly fink 'e's only holdin' on fer you. 'e knows me 'n' Russ'll be fine." He looked over at Murdoc, got up, and whispered, "Fank you, Murdoc, for bein' the best friend I 'ave ever worked wif." He kissed me gently on top of my head and walked out.

Murdoc was killing himself? I walked over to him and looked down at his colorless face. I sat at his bedside, gently stroking his greasy black hair and choking back tears. He didn't look well.

"Murdoc…Murdoc, I'm sorry." He closed his eyes and sighed. "I wish I knew what drove you to this point, what made you want this. But I just want you to know, that you were the greatest father ever, and I love you." He breathing was getting slower and shallower. I softly began singing a sad and sweet song I had found on the internet long ago. It wasn't really my kind of music, but I felt it to be most fitting for saying goodbye to Murdoc.

"_You can let go now, daddy. You can let go._

_Your little girl is ready to do this on my own._

_It's still a little bit scary, but I want you to know_

_I'll be okay now, daddy, you can let go._

_You can let go." _

When I finished singing, Murdoc's breathing finally slowed to a halt. I placed my ear to his chest, and felt nothing. I lightly kissed Murdoc's cheek, straightened the covers on his bed, and turned to go.

"I don't know why you had to go, Murdoc. But thank you for staying as long as you did."


End file.
